[Trombone-l] For all trombonists everywhere

Wayne Dyess texastbone at gt.rr.com
Sat May 31 11:34:52 CDT 2008


Every good and true trombonist should always observe these...


RULES FOR PLAYING MUSIC IN AN ENSEMBLE:


1. Everyone should play the same piece.

2. Observe the repeat signs only if what you just
played was interesting.

3. If you play a wrong note, glare at one of the other
players.

4. Carefully tune your instrument before playing.
Then if you play out of tune, you can at least do it with a clear
conscience.

5. The right note, at the wrong time, is a wrong note.
(And vice-versa.)

6. A wrong note, played timidly, is a wrong note.

7. A wrong note, played with authority, is simply your
interpretation of the phrase.

8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow the ones
who are lost.

9. Strive to always play the maximum notes per second.
This will intimidate the weaker players and gain you the
admiration of the ignorant.

10. Markings for slurs, dynamics, and accidentals
should be completely ignored. They are only there to
make the score look more complicated.

11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it is
easy, speed up. Everything will even itself out in the
end.

12. You have achieved a true interpretation when, in
the end, you have not played one note of the original piece.

13. When everyone else stops playing, you should stop
also. Do not play any notes you may have left over.

14. Blessed are those without perfect pitch, for the
kingdom of music is theirs.



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